Too dumb to live...
That’s how I felt after realizing I’d made a stupid mistake while sending out queries to my last batch of agents. I was moving along pretty damn well, having finally honed my query letter to perfection, a brilliant pitch guaranteed to get me rejected only 98% of the time rather than 99%. I’d slashed chapters 1-3 into a tight, fast moving narrative that sings. I’d gotten another request for a full (via e-mail). I’d sent out ten queries over the last two weeks…
And then I realized my mistake. Somehow I’d transposed the first two numbers of my zip code on my SASE address labels. So all the rejections—and maybe that one request for a partial or a full—were or will be sent by our good friends at the Post Office into a black hole. I feel like a stupid dummy girl, as my kids say. A teeny, tiny mistake that effectively wastes my time, the agents’ time, and several $$$ in stamps.
What to do? Well, I could just write the queries off as painful experience. I’m sure if the SASEs were returned to the agencies as “undeliverable” they went or will go right into the circular file. If they didn’t make it back to NY, then I could try to find the post office in the town where they ended up. Given my oft negative experience with the postal service that’s probably not a good idea. I mean, does anyone working there NOT suffer from a serious case of stinging hemorrhoids? (And before you, constant reader, slam me for dissing the USPS, let me assure you, I KNOW how that feels, only worse. I'm an expert on afflictions where the sun don’t shine--a long story involving words like "fissure" and "cauterize" followed by "scalpel," shouting in the O.R. that I had to pee, a nitro-glycerin treatment and subsequent “explosion” jokes, and a humorous, award-winning, PUBLISHED essay. Yes, writing about my aching ass actually got me published!)
Anyway… I finally decided to make lemonade out of my bitter lemon and re-sent my query, explaining what a stupid dummy girl I am and would the agent please take the time to reject me again. This was my top tier of agents and I at least want to have it confirmed they weren’t interested before I go on to the next. When I finally do land an agent (and provided he/she isn’t hit by a bus the day after signing me—see “Janet’s Law”), then this will be just another amusing, slightly irritating story to look back on…like my ass escapades.
Janet – No power in the verse can stop me (except maybe the fearful power of zip codes!)
And then I realized my mistake. Somehow I’d transposed the first two numbers of my zip code on my SASE address labels. So all the rejections—and maybe that one request for a partial or a full—were or will be sent by our good friends at the Post Office into a black hole. I feel like a stupid dummy girl, as my kids say. A teeny, tiny mistake that effectively wastes my time, the agents’ time, and several $$$ in stamps.
What to do? Well, I could just write the queries off as painful experience. I’m sure if the SASEs were returned to the agencies as “undeliverable” they went or will go right into the circular file. If they didn’t make it back to NY, then I could try to find the post office in the town where they ended up. Given my oft negative experience with the postal service that’s probably not a good idea. I mean, does anyone working there NOT suffer from a serious case of stinging hemorrhoids? (And before you, constant reader, slam me for dissing the USPS, let me assure you, I KNOW how that feels, only worse. I'm an expert on afflictions where the sun don’t shine--a long story involving words like "fissure" and "cauterize" followed by "scalpel," shouting in the O.R. that I had to pee, a nitro-glycerin treatment and subsequent “explosion” jokes, and a humorous, award-winning, PUBLISHED essay. Yes, writing about my aching ass actually got me published!)
Anyway… I finally decided to make lemonade out of my bitter lemon and re-sent my query, explaining what a stupid dummy girl I am and would the agent please take the time to reject me again. This was my top tier of agents and I at least want to have it confirmed they weren’t interested before I go on to the next. When I finally do land an agent (and provided he/she isn’t hit by a bus the day after signing me—see “Janet’s Law”), then this will be just another amusing, slightly irritating story to look back on…like my ass escapades.
Janet – No power in the verse can stop me (except maybe the fearful power of zip codes!)
posted by Janet at 9:01 AM
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