On Angels and Editors

I’ve launched an all-out campaign to finish a first draft of “…And the Angels Sing.” The reason for my hyperactivity? School ends in a month. And that means no time for writing after that because it will be all kids all the time and time and inspiration will drop off markedly. So, if I’m going to move on to something else in the fall (something light, funny, and dripping with sex), then I have to finish “Angels” before D-Day—the last day of school.

But, I’ll still take the time to rant. No power in the ‘verse can stop me from telling the world what I think. Here are a few unsolicited opinions: Read recently a big-time editor is leaving a big-time publisher and may become a literary agent. Now, that’s a shocking career change! When will we read about an editor stepping down to become a brain surgeon? Or a tree surgeon? I wonder if the editor will be replaced or will finances dictate the job’s elimination? I foresee a future publishing world that looks like this: 10-million aspiring writers, 1-million agents, and only one editor. And with the way things have been going with mergers and takeovers, only one publishing house. One lone editor schlepping away in a basement office of Mega-Books Publishers. Hopefully he/she will have a sense of humor and a tough as nails attitude. They'll need it!

The other interesting thing I read this week was an item in the RT Magazine newsletter, noting that a new UK publisher is focusing on fiction for women 45+. Now, I’m tempted to jump up and down and shout halleluiah, being firmly (well, saggily) in that underserved (and invisible) demographic. But I have to ask, what is fiction for women over 45? How can anyone generalize what any group wants to read? Sure, we have a commonality of experience—we came of age before condoms were de rigueur on a date and oral sex on the school bus was just a way of saying howdy—but we have a range of tastes and interests that are impossible to pinpoint just because we’re old bats.

The RT article also noted that critics say it’s patronizing to define women readers in that way and I agree. Just as it’s patronizing to try to cater to the 18-34 year olds advertisers and marketers are constantly wetting themselves over with the same blanket approach. They have a diverse range of interests too, they’re not ALL reading chick lit. My writing group pal has a 20-year old daughter who likes historical romances as much as my 70-something mother. The impetus behind reaching out to the younger reader is the same as advertising cars, clothes, even detergent—hook them on a “brand” and the company will have a consumer for many, many years (unlike us old broads who only have about thirty, forty years left, maybe fifty thanks to good genes and great health care, plus we have a lot more money to spend—but that’s a rant for another day). I understand WHY, but it still bugs me.

I’ll be interested to see what happens with this new 45+ demographic imprint. Who knows what they’ll come up with for us… “The Lovely Old Bones,” an arthritic version of Sex in the City with the Carrie character complaining that she can’t find a good chiropractor? “I’ve Got a Secret Grandbaby?” “Granny PI on the Go…” in which a Metamucil swilling granny solves sex crimes? Hmmm, that one might just be a keeper.

Janet – No power in ‘verse (not even those painful corns) can stop me.

Go buy a book--now!

Breaking news: Though lots of books were published last year, the Book Industry Study Group says the number of books sold dropped by 44 million. As an aspiring novelist, this depresses me, presenting one more reason for me to be rejected: “It just won’t sell.” But as a consumer, this irks me. I’ll concede that the reason cited for the dramatic drop—that fewer people are reading—is likely true. People reading less is a fact of modern life. But in compiling the statistics, did the research group consider other factors? First, there’s the tendency for publishers to focus on their big names at the expense of other authors. Can’t blame them, that’s how they make money, but once everyone’s bought their copy of the new Steven King or Danielle Steel, what’s out there to read? We readers are hungry for content the publishers aren’t putting out—I’ll buy any WWII-oriented fiction, particularly stories about women, but I can’t find anything like that on the shelves (or at Amazon).

Another factor is, like the TV biz (and movies/news biz), it seems the book industry has adopted a “pile-on” mentality; if something works, copy it. Again, can't blame them, it'll make money, and I'll be the first in line to pitch my WWII mystery series if Danielle Steel's latest 1940s set tome sparks a surge of interest in stories based in that era. But, this tendency to duplicate a successful work until the unique voice/spark that made the story so popular in the first place is wiped out leaves us readers with dozens of derivative, ultimately unreadable DaVinci Code wannabes.

An example of “pile-on:” I picked up a chick-lit recently that was awful—poorly edited, a trying-too-hard to be sassy heroine, choppy writing, and a plot that made no sense. I stopped reading at chapter two. Now, I try to give anything I read leeway because there but for the grace of a book contract go I… But I had to wonder if the publisher was so eager to pile on to the chick-lit bandwagon that it didn’t matter how crappy the book was. That experience left me less than eager to buy another chick lit--meaning one less future sale.

On another note, and I’m in full rant mode here, the new Star Wars movie opens tomorrow and I’ve seen far too many news stories about the people pitching tents outside movie theaters. I’ve got news for you, Jane and John Q. News Producer…those nuts camp out there with their hibachis and Darth Vader masks because they KNOW it’s sweeps month and they KNOW you’ll be there with a camera. They’re not psychos crying for attention (well, okay, thery are); this is the 00s, people, and everyone is media savvy. And while you’re at it, tell your news anchors to lay off the post-Star Wars story happy talk that goes something like, “Those people sure are nuts! What’s that guy dressed up as? Yogi or Yoga? Ha-ha, see I’m so far above the masses I’ve never even seen a Star Wars-Trek movie.” EVERYONE’s seen Star Wars—why do you think the franchise has made so damn much money? It’s not those 200 pot-bellied 40-somethings who live in their parents’ basement going to see the movies over and over that has made George Lucas so rich. So quit it with the elitist BS. Okay, my TV rant is over—for now.

Janet – No power in George Lucas’ or anyone else’s ’verse can stop me!

GMC - Not just a car company

Happy belated Mother’s Day to those of you who care about such things. My oldest son decided to celebrate by wishing me a “Happy V-E Day,” which he knew would warm the cockles of this WWII nut’s heart.

Holmes had Moriarty, Mulder had Krycek, Oscar had Felix—I’m talking NEMESIS here. My nemesis is a writer’s most important tool: Goals, Motivation, Conflict (GMC to the hip crowd; GMCizzle to the hip-hop crowd). I know the rule: there’s no compelling story without GMC. And I have to follow the rules if I want a great story that will eventually sell. But whenever I look at the instructions for achieving the perfect GMC or hear someone speak about rules and structure, I get lost. Worse, I get scared.

I’m a failure at following directions. I took sewing in high school (back when girls took “home-ec,” boys took “shop”) and got a D. I made one lousy, crooked-hem skirt and somehow started an ironing board fire that caused the school to be evacuated. I just couldn’t follow the instructions, didn’t get it. And then there was algebra… I was so dense I had to go for after-school help. The algebra teacher struggled, saying, “Now you’re catching on,” when it was clear I wasn’t and never would. (I don’t think the school department ever ‘caught on’ to his penchant for rubbing himself against the more buxom ninth grade girls, but that’s a story for the memoir…)

I’ve given it the old college try when developing GMC for my work. I’ve graphed and charted and plotted, drew ladders and arcs and everything else. The answer to my question, “What does my character want?” was invariably, “To stop looking at this stupid graph.” Maybe because I’m left-handed or maybe from a lifetime of being told, “You can’t do it that way…” or maybe my near electrocution when I was 11 fried my synapses…For some reason, I just can’t follow instructions.

BUT (there’s always a big but)… I taught myself how to sew, using my own system. I made a dress someone thought was a Laura Ashley (my reply, “Who’s that?”). And though I get dizzy whenever my son shows me his algebra homework, I’ve worked out my own system for multiplying and calculating tips. I’ve learned to use what’s inside of me, and, gee, it works. So, sometimes I have to write a complete first draft, sometimes it comes to me right at the start, but however I get there, I put my nemesis in its place and develop multi-layered characters with lives full of conflict (at least I try!).

Two final notes here—how much you wanna bet the bright bulbs that flew their plane over Washington and caused such a ruckus did it on purpose, for the notoriety? You know they’re going to be all over cable and network news talking about their “mistake” over the next two weeks. And finally, I am so in love with Hugh Laurie’s Dr. House it isn’t funny! Well, yeah it is, since Hugh is one hi-larious guy. And though I swore I would never watch another FOX TV show after the royal screwing the network gave “Firefly” (and seems about to give the superb “Arrested Development”), I tune in every week, never miss a moment. And struggle to figure out House’s GMC.

Janet – No power in the ‘verse can stop me!