Literal Literary

Today I got another form rejection letter. But it wasn’t all bad; it was addressed to ‘Mr. Halpin.’ Which got me giggling—and thinking.

Someone wrote to Miss Snark’s blog recently asking how literally they should take rejection letters. Miss Snark was her usual useful and snarky self, but my immediate thought was, if the agent/editor doesn’t reference the name of my manuscript and tell me something like “Character X was a whiny jerk and that’s why I’m saying no,” it’s mostly form and format. A polite way of saying ‘not for me,’ now move on to the next agent/editor on your list.

But what if I were to take this most recent rejection literally? Does it mean I come across as a Mr. Halpin and not a Ms.? I’ve been told I write like a man (my characters tend to be son-of-a-bitch-bastards and people get bruised, beaten, and smacked around in my work; what can I say, I’m an optimist), but I hope I don’t look like one. Does it mean I should pony up for a sex change? That would startle my husband. I mean, he enjoyed Brokeback Mountain, but not that much.

Or does it just mean that the harried agent was in a rush and whipped off my name and her signature (as garbled as my teenager’s penmanship, it looks like the agent is named “Grunt”) so she could move on to the next query on her list? I’m glad she actually took the time to handwrite my name, it tells me my query was actually read and probably carefully considered. And that I’ll take literally.

Janet – “No power in the ’verse can stop me!”