The Agency Speaks

Got a funny rejection letter yesterday. Not funny ha-ha, although that would be kind of interesting if agents/editors hired a comedy writer to pen their “No thanks” letters. A little levity with the bad news, unless of course you get Don Rickles to write it. “Your idea stinks and so do you, porkchop-face!” Maybe not…

Anyway, this letter was funny in the way it was signed—by the agency itself. Not the usual John Spit, Spit & Wink Literary Agency. It was signed “Spit & Wink Agency,” making me wonder if the entire agency read my query, from the founder to the janitor. Did they all decide “not for us” and then cluster around the computer keyboard to compose my rejection, each typing one letter of my name the way the killers wielded the knife in Agatha Christie’s Murder on the Orient Express? (Oops! Sorry if I just gave away the ending for the two people on the planet who don’t know it! Next I’ll be telling you Citizen Kane’s Rosebud is a…shut my mouth!)

Not that the rejection was unexpected. I haven’t queried for “Polkadots” for a long time and recently sent out a spate of new submissions, so I knew there’d be incoming. Got a request for chapters too, so that offsets the big no, big time.

Now I’m heading off to the New England Crime Bake this weekend. This two-day affair, sponsored by the NE chapters of Mystery Writers of America and Sisters in Crime, is a gem of a conference. Serious craft discussions, big name mystery writers imparting their wisdom, the opportunity to pitch and plenty of dessert—what more could I ask for? (Okay, since I am the original "complaining woman," I'm sure I can find something…)

Janet – No power in the 'verse can stop me!